Most of us spend majority of our waking hours at work. Let’s be honest, the old 9 to 5 schedule has seemed to stretch to an 8 to 6, or sometimes even longer. So, with us spending 40+ hours at the workplace, we tend to build relationships with our fellow coworkers grinding alongside of us. It’s easy to blur the lines of professional, “shop talk” and personal conversations. It’s always important to have a best friend at work, but this doesn’t mean that you have to divulge all of your personal business at work. In every relationship, there should be boundaries set between you and your peers, but how do you draw a line with someone you’re in contact with more than any other person, maybe even more than your family?

Easiest way to set boundaries is when you’re beginning a new position in a new organization. Always be friendly and cordial. Outlining boundaries isn’t synonymous with being standoffish or closed off. Remember, you want to make connections at work because you’re going to be there with other coworkers most of the time. So, what you can do when you’re faced with a topic you’re uncomfortable talking about is to simply say “I don’t feel comfortable sharing (X- topic), but I will share (Y-topic) about myself.” This simple statement lets coworkers know that some subjects may be off limits, but you’re open to letting them into bits of your life and vice versa.

Now, you may be thinking: “That’s all great, Shauna, but I’ve been working with my coworkers for 3 years already! How can I start setting boundaries with my existing coworkers because people are getting too familiar for comfort?” Well, that is definitely a different situation, but it may be a little easier to set boundaries when your relationship with coworkers have a stronger foundation. If you are truly friends and someone crosses a line, you may be able to defend yourself without tarnishing the entire relationship. You actually have an advantage to stand firm in your newfound boundaries because you do have a solid relationship with your coworkers. You have interacted with them for years; you know what language to use to make your point across and not escalate the possibly awkward situation. They might be taken aback for a minute, but if your approach is warm, but assertive (not aggressive) they will take the social cue and drop the matter if they are, in fact, a friend.

The most important factor in setting boundaries in the workplace, and possibly in other settings, is being in an environment in which you’re comfortable. Managing relationships at work can be tricky, but your personal comfort level doesn’t need to be compromised. It’s nice to have camaraderie among the employees of the office, but it’s equally vital to remember you are in a professional setting, and although aspects of personal life can be incorporated in conversations, the workplace should always be a safe, respectable setting for all.